She was by and large mentally ill, violent, abusive, cruel towards my father when he wasn’t making enough money, extremely controlling, and had self-image issues, changing her entire appearance to “look white.” This man was interested in Asian culture and married because he was socially unable to marry a white woman due to his political beliefs and personality quirks (he is socially conservative, a Holocaust denier and anti-Semite, extremely homophobic, very shy, not many friends, belief that white women are too liberated, extremely meek and unable to make eye contact with others, steps off the sidewalk when larger men approach, unwilling to work or make money for fear of violating Christian scripture).I was raised largely as a white child, yet turned more Asian in appearance with age. I will make you to take off your shoes in my house. And never, ever try to get on the bed with your shoes on. I like to use chopsticks in new and interesting ways. Pro-tip: Refill everyone else's cup before your own, going from oldest to youngest. Prepare for a lifetime of finding knots of long black hairs in the shower drain, in the vacuum cleaner, on the carpet, everywhere, all the time.14. Having been taught to use chopsticks before I learned to speak, I consider them to be the best utensils. If you pour tea for yourself before my Yeh Yeh, you will be judged accordingly. Because at the end of the day, this is, actually, potentially the dream situation for Jewish dudes: she’s half-Asian she’s Jewish,” he says.“So it should be that she’s getting double the matches.” The truth is, most people prefer to date people of their own race, especially white people.If you don’t believe that I am Hapa, continue reading. In short: I am the son of a foreign born Asian woman from Hong Kong who deliberately married a tall, red-haired, blue eyed, bearded white man.She, like many Asian women, sought out a man who had a “Western” background so that she could feel integrated into her new home, and better than her fully Asian peers.
I wrote this essay about two years ago, at the peak of a very, very damaging breakdown.And don't ask me what that sign says because I probably don't know. But I most likely know how to speak a language other than English. How else are we supposed to talk about other people in public? My parents programmed every second of my life before it was cool for parents to do that. In fact, they'll probably continue trying to set me up with their friends' sons. They might not think you're husband material (yet), but they will like you more if you eat.11. I yawned my way through weeknights with a tutor or at a prep program, and I spent my Saturdays at Korean school hating life while learning how to be a better Korean. "You're not married to this so-called boyfriend of yours yet — what's the big deal? Actually, just be willing to eat everything when you're around me. I don't understand why anyone would eat Flaming Hot Cheetos without chopsticks (keeps the Cheetos dust from getting on the fingers). Don't assume I know how to speak fill-in-the-blank-Asian language. Doesn't matter who's with me, when I'm eating out, I'm going to reach for the check first. With parents and aunts and uncles getting into physical altercations over who gets to pay for dinner. I didn't necessarily grow up speaking any language other than English. I'll expect you to pick up a few words of said language if you don't know it already. You'll never be able to get to the check faster than I can! My parents will immediately reject you as a suitor.