It’s not an accident,” says Catherine Tucker, a therapist in Sacramento, California. You wrote about your confusion: are we doing the right thing by divorcing? But we’re so toxic together and sometimes love just ain’t enough. You learn he’s seeing other women, you see other men. So you float away from each other and appear to make drastic improvements to yourselves and your respective lives, which confirms to you that divorce was the right call.Let’s say you’ve spent the past year writing earnestly about your separation and eventual divorce from your husband. You vacillate between friendship and formality and a few slip-ups wherein you become lovers, but you eventually settle into a nice, friendly relationship with occasional flirting.You chronicled your tumultuous separation that eventually mellowed into a strange period wherein you hung out quite a bit in some kind of confused limbo. You learn he’s talking to other women, you talk to other men.